My husband and I are going through a dilemma. My doctor doesn't accept a written birth plan, which we didn't think was a big deal until recently. After reading a lot and talking to numerous new parents with recent experiences, we think it's important that a doctor takes on our wishes as to how our birthing process should go. Of course, things could change in emergency situations, and I could certainly see why a birth plan could be a nuisance to a trained, medical doctor. However, pregnancy/labor and delivery in itself is not a sickness. It's a natural process. As long as there are no complications, there is no need for intervention. And the issue lies in the trust I have in my doctor. Do I trust that she will respect my wishes as much as she can before she makes a judgment call that goes against what I want? For a trained surgeon, who is able to quickly take the baby out in minutes, would she wait around for 72 hours if she had to, until I was ready to push on my own? My answer right now about my doctor is... I don't think she would. When I asked her again about my birth plan, she said to me, 'You're gonna be scared, and it's an emotional time. I don't want to be looking at a piece of paper.' She said we could talk about it, but she also made me feel I have no say in the matter, that I don't know what I want because I don't know what I'm talking about. Perhaps to a certain extent, that's true. But I am a bit more aware than she seems to give me credit.
Not every woman shares my point of view in terms of wanting a natural birthing process. Some want as much intervention as possible. Some women choose to have an elective C-section for scheduling reasons. And even when a woman wants a natural birth, she could become too exhausted after days of laboring that she ends up changing her mind - I could end up doing that myself. I'm not criticizing what a woman decides to do. But rather, I'd just like to have a choice in the matter and have real support. I don't want to have to fight the system while I'm in pain, vulnerable at the hospital.
There are other minor incidences at the doctor's office, during which I felt a bit uneasy. She is actually quite lovely in a lot of ways. But it's just the medical philosophy most doctors seem to have when it comes to any kind of holistic approach to things. I can see that she tries to be receptive to what I have to say or the questions I ask, but I also see she isn't quite on the same page.
Of course, I could change doctors again (this is our second doctor), but that's not an easy feat. We have to consider insurance, location, reviews, etc. We're also looking into midwifery, but there aren't many in our area. The nearest ones have mixed reviews, and the one holistic doctor who seems promising is booked until the end of the month.
At 32+ weeks, we need to be quick and make some decisions. It's going to be a long weekend...