30 weeks: Gestational Diabetes

GESTATIONAL DIABETES:

Gestational Diabetes is one of the most common health problems during pregnancy. When pregnant, the placenta releases hormones - one of which is called HPL (Human Placental Lactogen) - that have anti-insulin properties. They're basically there to ensure the baby receives enough nutrients. Usually, the mother's body compensates for this specific insulin resistance by working harder at the pancreas, releasing extra insulin. A woman with GD, however, has a hard time accommodating, resulting in an elevated blood glucose level. If prolonged, a lot of dangerous things can happen. But if controlled, it's not a big deal - hence the routine testing. Though someone with GD has a higher chance of developing type II diabetes later in life, the condition usually goes away once the baby - more specifically, the placenta - is out.

RISK FACTORS:

There's a list of things that puts someone at a higher risk for GD: being older than 25, going through a 'high risk pregnancy,' having high blood pressure, being overweight before pregnancy, and having given birth to a large baby before. I am none of the above, except being older than 25. But as always, there are exceptions and anomalies. 

THE TESTS & RESULTS:

My blood glucose level came out slightly elevated after the initial glucose tolerance test (GTT), which routinely happens between 24-28weeks of pregnancy, when the HPL levels become higher and can start affecting the body. GTT consists of consuming within 5 minutes a drink containing 50g of glucose after fasting for 8-14 hours, then drawing blood an hour after. If the number is above 140mg/dl, doctors ask for further testing through the 3 hour glucose tolerance test. The second test consists of drinking a sweeter drink containing 100g of glucose the same way within 5 minutes (it's really sweet and makes some women vomit), then drawing blood for the next 3 hours at every hour. The cut off numbers - they seem to vary a bit depending on your doctor, but these are what my doctor used - are 95 mg/dl (fasting), 180 mg/dl (1hr), 155 mg/dl (2hrs), and 140 mg/dl (3hrs). If two or more numbers are elevated, Gestational Diabetes is diagnosed.

30 WEEKS CHECKUP & MY RESULTS:

My weight is on track, and my blood pressure is 'perfect.' My baby's heartbeat looks great as well. But I failed the 3hr glucose tolerance test by a few points. I'm right at the borderline. For some more 'lenient' doctors, I might have passed. My doctor seems to be on the more cautious side, which isn't a bad thing. She suggested that I go on a restrictive diet and start monitoring my blood sugar level just in case. No more cookies, cakes, and ice cream for me until the baby comes - my doctor kept saying sorry because it's right before the holidays. But the thing is, I wasn't really into them anyway, at least during this pregnancy because they usually make me vomit. 

My doctor doesn't think it has anything to do with what I'm doing. She said it's probably my high hormone levels. She's putting me on a diet to make sure my baby's healthy and my birthing process is as smooth as possible. And keeping blood sugar levels in check never hurt anyone. 

TREATMENT: 

When GD is severe and cannot be treated with diet and exercise alone, insulin injection or other form of medication is needed. But I'm not at that stage; I just need to monitor my glucose level and watch my diet. The biggest change will be that I have to cut down on my fruits and eat a lot more often. Oh, and I'll have to prick myself seven times a day. I was pretty bummed out for a day because I couldn't believe how helpless this pregnancy has made me, starting with Hyperemesis.

But after a good night's sleep, I've come to a completely different place of something closer to... excitement. After reading a bunch of documents from the Doctor's office, I made a meal plan chart for myself and went to Trader Joe's to get the ingredients. I also stopped by the Dr's office to learn how to use the glucose monitor. The needle is tiny and doesn't hurt (that much)! This is a great opportunity to revamp my diet, which has gotten a bit sloppy since Hyperemesis. This heightened awareness is going to only help me and my baby, not to mention my husband. And I've always been curious about my glucose level anyway. So far, things are looking good. I'm not hungry, and my sugar level is absolutely normal. Maybe these changes will help with my nausea and vomiting too. 

PHOTO at 30 weeks:

I feel heavy (my legs cramp up a lot at nights, probably from all the extra weight they have to handle), but I love the roundness of the belly. We saw our baby girl's face on the sonogram yesterday, and her cheeks have gotten chubbier! My husband thinks she looks like me, but I can't tell just yet. We're so excited to meet this baby girl!

23 weeks: hurricane Sandy & getting huge

HURRICANE SANDY, LIFE, AND BABIES:

My husband and I escaped hurricane Sandy before it hit our neighborhood. Our building is apparently still without power, tho the flooding in the first couple of levels has subsided. Talking to family and friends back in NYC area about what they're going through, I can't believe how close to home this disaster hit. There were no fatalities in my circle, but I know many are dealing with devastating situations. (Here's a link with info on how you can help.) And being mostly a mess these days anyway, I can't imagine how I would have handled the stress if I were home. I know there are some damages I'll have to deal with when I get back, but I can't describe how grateful I am for being where I am, warm and with power, surrounded by people I love...

Life is so precarious and fragile that I used to ponder extensively about what it means to bring another life into this world. I've always wanted to be a mother, but I was also aware of the weight of responsibilities that comes with starting a family, including the overwhelming need to protect and the inevitability of reality.

When I was going through the worst of the 'morning sickness' in bed for three months straight, I couldn't fathom the idea of going through this again. But perhaps because of my current, better physical condition, or maybe the hurricane, I am beginning to think about a second child again. Mostly, I want this baby girl to have someone in her generation to call family. Cousins are great - I've grown up with a bunch. But a sibling is irreplaceable. I'm sure everyone's different, but I know I feel a kind of security I can't quite explain just from having the two siblings I have. Going through some deaths plus serious illnesses in the family recently, I've come to appreciate my siblings on another level. I want this baby to have that when she's older. I won't be around forever, and I don't want her to be alone.

But of course... I should focus on getting through this pregnancy first.

GETTING HUGE:

On a lighter note, I'm getting huge. I thought I had my growth spurt two weeks ago, but that was only the beginning... I know there's a lot more to go, but I'm already starting to feel enormous. I can't slouch the way I used to (maybe it's a good thing) - my big round belly is in the way. The extra weight is starting to affect my mobility, and I can't stay in one position for a long time. My extremities get swollen if I'm not careful. I find myself massaging my hands and feet a lot. 

Looking back at pictures from previous weeks, I realize how small I was. This process is just going to repeat itself until the baby comes, I'm sure. The fact that my body has the capacity to grow in the way it's growing is fascinating in itself, and to think that there's another alien life in there seems crazy. All these things I took for granted are now somehow endlessly miraculous and awe-inspiring. 

PHOTO: 

This is me at 23 weeks, earlier today. I had to lift the shirt to show the 'real belly,' but it still doesn't really capture how huge I feel. I think I'm carrying her pretty low, which I think is apparent in the photo. But I'm noticing my upper stomach area is starting to 'pop' as well. 

same difference?

My fear of traveling comes from disrupting this 'delicate balance' I've established in the past few months of eating certain types of food and staying home a lot. But I'm not exactly doing great. So would it make that much of a difference if I changed my environment and risked some additional discomfort in a different location? Or would it really jeopardize the little progress I've made so far?

As most things in my life, it is not so clear. There is no definite answer, and I could only keep weighing things out, carefully assessing my daily condition. I can't help but to wonder why I am this way, when other pregnant women seem to function just fine. Right now is when I'm supposed to be going on my 'babymoon.' I often feel quite isolated in that no one I know seems to share this experience. Sometimes, I feel the underlying doubt in the polite yet skeptical responses I get from friends who have already gone through a pregnancy or two. A friend asked the other day,' what do you think is wrong?' Medically, not much. In my daily reality, however, everything - enough to confound my life.

I asked my husband yesterday if I had always been 'this way,' lying down and moaning, being sick and cranky. He kindly reminded me that I'm one of the most active people he knows, and that I'm just having a difficult pregnancy. I nodded in exhaustion, grateful, vaguely remembering what it means to be that way. I mumbled to myself, 'Oh yeah... I used to get so much done in a day.....' as my head landed back on the pillow, searching and digging for comfort that wouldn't come.

Mostly, I'm grateful for everything: this amazing blessing of a pregnancy, the fact that I can afford to stay home while sick, my husband whose immensely nurturing side has made its big debut, among many other unexpectedly great things that have happened this year. My body is doing something miraculous, and my 'sickness' is temporary - I'm not terminally ill or anything close, which I have closely witnessed in the past year... When put into perspective, I should only be thankful, and nothing else. It goes to show how 'human' I am, being frustrated at this body for not letting me do all the 'normal' things I desperately want/need to be doing.

But....... As long as I am able, I have things to get done and places to go. Maybe they could take me on a gurney... with a bit of sedative...?