35 Weeks: Discomforts & Joys of 3rd Trimester

The better I feel physically, the busier I get - naturally. In the past week, my husband and I have taken care of most of the big things we wanted to get done before the baby comes. It's been a while since I felt this productive.

I've also been feeling some new physical discomforts, specific to this very weighty 3rd trimester.

NEW DISCOMFORTS:

1) Back Pains:
I first felt it late last week during a walk outside. I let out a small 'ahk!' and had to stop moving. My first thought for a split second was "Baby, we got 6 more weeks to go!" I quickly realized it wasn't a contraction. Then I thought maybe it's a Braxton Hicks - that wasn't it either. I limped back home and had to lie down for the rest of the evening. For a couple of days, I needed back massages in order to fall asleep.

2) Leg Cramps: 
I find myself stretching my legs/ankles a lot when I sleep because I feel sore all the time, and that's when it attacks me. I woke up screaming a couple mornings, tho the cramp subsided pretty quickly. I guess dealing with 20+lbs of extra weight on a daily basis is putting a lot of pressure on my legs.

ONGOING DISCOMFORTS:

1) Congestion: 
I've been congested since what must be Day 1 of pregnancy. Every morning and every night, I spend a lot of time in the bathroom, trying to clear my sinuses and my throat. And heater makes it impossible for me to breathe at nights, so we've been sleeping with our sweaters on instead, with the humidifier on.

2) Nausea & Vomiting:

This one is so much better than what it used to be, but it's still happening. It's alright though. It'll be over soon..... I'm still super sensitive to certain foods/smells, but at least my triggers have narrowed down. One of the main things is cooking oil. So far, I've identified olive oil, butter, and almond oil to be safe. Anything else causes nausea and/or vomiting. So it gets a bit tricky if I'm trying to eat out because I don't know what kind of cooking oils restaurants use.

3) All the other Usuals:

Then there are the common 3rd trimester symptoms many women experience, like frequent trips to the bathroom, indigestion/gas/bloating/heartburn, fatigue, interrupted sleep, weight gain, pregnancy brain, shortness of breath, swelling, and etc........... Almost.... Almost there! 

THE JOYS:

1) Feeling the Movements:

In all honesty tho, I don't mind these 3rd trimester symptoms too much. I find that I'm rather savoring every moment of this uncomfortable miracle, especially now that we're close to the finish line. I particularly enjoy feeling this baby move. Now that she's bigger and snug in my womb, the movements are different. She's not doing somersaults anymore because there is no more room. I could feel where her back is and where her limbs are. She stretches her legs and sometimes her whole body, and my belly stretches out diagonally. It's fascinating to watch, and it's almost strange how much joy I find in feeling those pokes. It hurts sometimes when she kicks me in the rib, but even then, I love it. It's so cute. And every time she moves, I feel like I'm getting to know her better.

2) Cravings: 
I know 2nd trimester is when things are supposed to be great, but for me, 2nd trimester came and left before I felt any kind of bliss. Until recently, eating has been either a terrible, disgusting chore or something always ending badly even if it starts out well. And with Gestational Diabetes, I thought I was never going to experience any kind of eating pleasure until I was done with this pregnancy. But in the past week, I've been having these nuts and cheese cravings, specifically almond butter and Manchego cheese (not together). My body doesn't seem to want anything it can't handle, and I'm enjoying my almond butter and/or Manchego cheese sandwiches like never before. Eating may not be awesome, but it's the best it's ever been during this pregnancy.

3) Love:
I'm in love with this baby. I can't wait to meet her, and I'm in love with my family. Despite the lingering list of difficulties I face on a daily basis, I'm going through a I-love-my-life phase. I hope it lasts for a while, enough to get me through the challenges of labor & delivery, plus the transition into parenthood. 

PHOTO at 35 weeks:

23 wks & 5 days: HUNGER

THE HUNGER:

For the past couple of days, I noticed I felt really hungry during my late night bathroom runs. The first night, I got myself up and drank some chocolate milk. By the way, the fact that I got myself up to get something in the middle of the night is a HUGE improvement in itself. And the fact that I feel hunger instead of nausea is another great sign. But the hunger is becoming another source to disrupt my sleep. I woke up several times last night, a few to go to the bathroom, and once, famished.

This is a new phenomenon. It's exciting and a bit alarming. As I write this, it's after 11pm where I am, and I just ate what could be a meal after having dinner at 6. 

Also, any kind of junk food used to make me vomit, but some things are beginning to appeal to me again: namely, pastries. Ice cream seems to be still off limits, but cake, pastries, cookies, and bread are becoming a regular craving. Uh oh.

THE KICKS & PUNCHES:

I had my first 'ouch' moment today from the baby's movement. It didn't actually hurt, but I was startled by the force and location of her kick. I just lifted my shirt and observed with my husband to see if the belly actually moves from the outside. And it does! 

I'm sure she's gonna start waking me up in the middle of the night with her kicks and punches pretty soon.

daily challenge: brushing teeth

I have always been very serious about my dental hygiene, at least ever since this one really painful office visit as a child. I have flossed daily, along with mouth wash and meticulous brushing. I make my biannual visits, where I get my teeth cleaned by a professional, which I hate by the way. But my efforts have paid off. I haven't gotten any cavities filled in ages, and I've never had a root canal - not yet anyway...

Once I became pregnant and sick, brushing teeth has become one of my biggest fears. Anything going into my mouth would trigger a gag reflex, always leading to a painful series of stomach contractions that leads to... Well. Vomiting. In my case, brushing my teeth would guarantee it. I had only thrown up a handful of times in my entire life before the pregnancy, and only when I was violently sick. The harsh contractions would deplete my body of the energy I didn't have, knocking me out, shaking. 

Fortunately, my body doesn't react as violently anymore at my 21st week, and I have more strength than before, thanks to my ability to eat more these days. But the gag reflex has not stopped. Every night when I walk into the bathroom to brush my teeth, I have to take a deep breath and mentally prepare for what is to come. I often close my eyes and try to concentrate, trying so hard to not let this reaction take over me. I have yet to be successful.

After yet another night of an unsuccessful attempt, I have canceled my upcoming 6 months dental checkup for now. Also, after another rough, sleepless night, I have postponed my travel plans one more time. 

I saw a pregnant woman at the grocery store last night, enjoying a chocolate ice cream cone, savoring each bite. I was envious, wishing I had cravings like that I could handle. But I know I'm not alone. My sister in law also had a rough pregnancy - she said her nausea got 'a little better' at 6 months. I remember freaking out at the number (WHAT? SIX MONTHS? NOOOOO!), but now I'm almost there myself. Maybe in 4 more weeks, I will feel better, and I will be enjoying my own chocolate ice cream cone at the grocery store, making some poor, sick pregnant woman jealous... :)

And by the way, my doctor tells me that 'throwing up once or twice a day is fine.' I'm also not a 'high risk' pregnant woman, nor do I have any threatening issues. I just happen to be one of those unfortunate women feeling sick all the time - probably due to my high hormone levels, coupled with high sensitivity. I have my genes to thank for that. My mother and her mother both were this sick. And my mom had three children, and my grandma, six.... This is only my first time. I can do it. No problem! ...

20 weeks (and 1 day): reflection

After two days of feeling optimistic about my progress, I've been having my 'rough days' again for the past few days. A 'rough day' consists of many types of discomfort, including but not limited to indigestion, nausea, vomiting, headaches, shortness of breath, fatigue, and body aches. These recent 'rough days' are fortunately much better than my 1st trimester. And still, I am bound at home, in bed, not being able to do much. But I get to write, which is a big deal. Everything seems very relative these days, and it's not necessarily a bad thing.

FIRST TRIMESTER:

There are no words to accurately describe this wonderful (bc there's a baby!) yet utterly terrible experience of that 1st trimester of mine. Honestly, I felt like I was going to die every moment of every day, and nausea and vomiting wasn't the worst of it. I've been sick with stomach flu, food poisoning, been hospitalized for numerous things that included surgeries. I've also spent 8 hours in throbbing pain without any drugs right after an oral surgery to remove two wisdom teeth (it's a funny story...), but this extended period of 'sickness' may be the worst of my experiences thus far. I suspect it's because there was no moment of relief - not even one, and  it was for an extended period of time. For months, I had no room to think or feel anything other than the pure misery that had taken over my whole body. I needed 24/7 constant care of being fed every 1-3 hrs, in bed but not being able to do anything but stare at the wall because anything and everything made me dizzy-watching TV or reading a book wasn't an option. Completely bedridden, with the exception of using the bathroom, I was constantly sobbing, trying to remember that it is only temporary. Saying I had no appetite is an understatement because everything was disgusting. But 'eating and throwing up is better than not eating at all' became my mantra, and I acted accordingly after almost ending up in the ER with dehydration. It was the first time in my life, including all the other times I've been sick, that I hated the sight/smell of food as much as I did during this period. But thanks to my husband who ran around all over the city to find what I could stomach at the given moment, I was able to eat SOMEthing every hour or two, albeit only a bite or two most of the time. My weight stopped declining, and I was able to keep it steady for the rest of the trimester.

I once read some woman's comment on someone's blog about pregnancy, saying something to the effect of 'pregnancy is like a death sentence to some women because it's NOT a pleasant experience.' I remember wondering how bad it could be. Now... I get it. It's a difficult thing to express or talk about because pregnancy is a privilege in so many ways, and the 'sickness' is not 'real,' meaning it is usually not life threatening - tho for some women, it is. Fortunately, it wasn't for me, and I got through the worst of it.

SECOND TRIMESTER:

When week 12 passed, I was anxious to start feeling some relief, which never came. Even at 20 weeks, there is no real sense of 'relief.' The improvement has been a very gradual one, with some ups and violent downs that would put me right back in bed. Still at 20 weeks, the nausea and vomiting have not subsided as much as expected, but my body is at a better place nonetheless, where I can function like a normal human being for hours at a time on a good day. I am definitely not experiencing what they call the '2nd trimester bliss,' but I'm grateful to be where I am. I can eat. I can go out to sometimes. But it's still hard to make any plans in advance because every day is a new, unpredictable challenge.

THE BABY:

We confirmed at the doctor's appointment earlier this week that it's a girl! And she's an active one. She kept moving during the sonogram that it took more than an hour to get that one picture of her profile. Despite all my symptoms, the baby is doing well. Everything is 'on target.' I began to feel her movement about a week or two ago, and the new sensation is a kind of comfort I never expected. I feel privileged to be experiencing this pregnancy, despite all the misery that comes with it.

WEIGHT GAIN:

The belly is expanding quickly. In the past few days, I've been experiencing occasional shortness of breath, especially after eating, and some stretching sensation surrounding my growing belly. I've been eating more with an increased appetite, but I'm also noticing I can't eat a 'normal' meal at once because it gives me an enormous amount of discomfort. I need to go back to eating the way I did, eating little very often. The weight gain isn't stressing me out as much as I thought it might, but I think it's because I'm busy feeling sick so often. My weight gain so far is a bit under average, but it's only expected because I didn't gain any during the 1st trimester, and everyone gains at different rates anyway. My doctor isn't worried, and I'm not either. My goal is to stay below 30lbs total. We'll see how that goes. 

EXERCISE:
I always envisioned myself, going to prenatal yoga and being active, being one of those glowing pregnant women who say, 'I feel great!' Unfortunately, I am nothing close to those women. My effort to be active doesn't go any further than walking around in the city when I feel up to it (it only happened once so far...), and following my husband to the grocery store when I can handle it. I stretch in bed and try to move around as much as I can. But I know I'm not ready yet for a yoga class. I'm still hopeful, however.

TRAVEL:

I've been meaning to travel since summer. I was hoping to feel well enough for it by now, but it's still a questionable plan. My desire to be active coupled with the inability to do so makes for a daily dose of disappointment. However, I've come to terms with it - at least more than before. As long as this baby girls is healthy and happily growing, and I get to feel her movements, I am grateful. I long to see my family, but as my father gently reminded me over the phone the other day, now my priority is my baby...

TODAY:

I woke up with a craving for a nutella crepe, but I opted for a more nutritious breakfast. With my inability to move much, I really have to watch what I eat, not only to keep myself from gaining too much weight but more to keep the baby healthy and growing. I haven't been taking my prenatal vitamins consistently because it makes me sick and/or vomit - I've tried at least five different brands... As much as it worries me that I'm not taking vitamins, I think it keeps me extra alert about my food choices. I do eat my dessert when I want it and think can handle it (it's only happened about 3 times so far), but I also eat all my dark leafy vegetables, lean meats (sometimes not so lean...), fresh and dried fruits, nuts, and eggs. I don't keep track of everything, but I pay attention to protein, iron, and folate. And so far, everything seems to be going well. 

PHOTO: my growing belly at 20 weeks