38 Weeks: Weight Gain

Happy Valentine's Day! I usually take this day as an excuse to indulge in some chocolates, but I'm a bit limited in my sugar consumption this year... But that's okay because my life is definitely full of, if not overflowing with, love these days. This joyful anticipation of a baby girl is sweeter than any amount of chocolates!

30+ POUNDS HEAVIER:
Despite my no-sugar-eating, healthy diet, I've been gaining weight steadily - especially recently. The slowing down of the "last growth spurt" that's supposed to occur after 36 weeks hasn't happened for me. A pregnant woman's blood volume increases by ~50%, so I know a lot of it is water weight, but I've been gaining what seems like a steady ~1+lb/week. I swear I feel heavier every morning, and my belly feels tighter. I've been diligently doing my cat stretches, and I officially have a hard time bending over now - so much so that my husband helps me put my shoes on. And I'm such a first time pregnant woman - I'm constantly amazed at how big I'm getting.

Ever since being diagnosed with GD, I've been paying close attention to my weight, getting on the scale every morning as soon as I wake up and jotting down for my record. Though I'm not too sure about my accurate "starting weight," I'm pretty sure I've gained about 30 pounds so far. My weight sometimes fluctuates a bit, depending on how bloated I am, so I'm not sure if I'll gain more in total during the leftover duration of this pregnancy. A woman who starts at a 'normal' weight is expected/advised to gain 25-35 pounds, and underweight women more, and overweight, less. My first doctor suggested 35, and I remember thinking, wow, that's a lot of weight. But now I'm almost there...!! In terms of my measurements, my belly is right on target this week.

STRETCHING BELLY & STRETCH MARKS:
I've added a step to my belly moisturizing regimen. I use my regular Earth Mama Stretch Oil after showers, but I also use coconut oil before bedtime. I've heard that some women get stretch marks in the last couple weeks of pregnancy...! That would be a bummer, so I'm trying to  be careful - tho they say it's mostly your genetics and not so much the moisturizing. Still.. Better safe than sorry, right?

DREAMS: 
A bit earlier in my pregnancy, I used to have a lot of anxiety dreams, where someone is trying to harm my baby, and I'd turn into a beast and destroy all the perpetrators. Nowadays, I'm noticing my dreams have evolved into something more pleasant - well, I'm assuming because I don't really remember them. What does stay with me is that I'm always buoyant, and the baby is already out. I guess I'm looking forward to being lighter. As much as I think I might miss being this pregnant, I am definitely looking forward to being more mobile/agile/independent.

GTF CHROMIUM:
I started taking some GTF Chromium supplements at my midwife's suggestion. It's supposed to help with my insulin resistance, aka Gestational Diabetes. There aren't too many studies done to know the exact mechanism in which Chromium assists sugar metabolism, but it helps some people. She suggested I take 100mcg, twice a day. Being cautious about supplements in general, I decided to start with 100mcg/day after three days of reading about it. And to my pleasant surprise, it's helping. Not that my blood glucose was so out of whack before, but it's more stable now, even if I eat fruits in the mornings for example. I've been enjoying my apples, bananas, berries, and papayas more without worrying about my blood sugar. I even had some cookie the other night after a spicy dinner. Oh, and I might even have some chocolate tonight after dinner to celebrate Valentine's Day. :)

PHOTO at 38 weeks:
This baby could come any day now, and I definitely look it!

27 weeks: jet lagged, anxious, but happy

JET LAG:

I've been feeling like a zombie since I got back home last week. The 13-hour difference has been brutal. My attempt to adjust to the new time zone by eating at 'right' meal times was not matching up with my sleep schedule, messing me up in pretty much every way. Obviously, being pregnant doesn't help... And I don't know what made me think eating Indian was a good idea, three days into readjusting, especially after not touching it since I got pregnant. I regretted immediately as I spent a good chunk of time and energy in the bathroom, hugging the toilet. It was... a violent night.

EARLY MORNINGS:
The thing about being jet lagged is that I get up really early in the mornings. In the beginning, it was at 2am, but now it's trickled down to almost 6am, which is a pretty normal time to get up for a lot of people. I've always been more of a night owl, but I do really love being up early in the mornings, when things are quiet, and air feels crisp. After waking up at 3am, I was able to put in another couple hours before I was up at 5:30 this morning, thinking about carrot juice. When my husband woke up soon after, we made an early morning trip to the grocery store to get some carrots. The fresh squeezed carrot juice made by my husband with our new juicer was heavenly, except I realize it may be too sugary to gulp down on an empty stomach. Next time, I'm having it with my breakfast. Oh, and I also came back with these: chocolate cravings, anyone?

HIGHS & LOWS:

Being pregnant for me has been such a crazy experience so far, where I feel the worst and the best of all emotions. The worst comes from the bodily discomforts and pain, and the best comes from this amazingly joyful anticipation. The sensation of this baby girl's movements and growth is the most exciting thing I've ever felt in my daily existence but also the reason for my physical misery. It's conflicting sometimes, but they seem to balance each other out in the end. I'm not actually so much cranky as I am groggy. I started sleeping at nights since two nights ago, so maybe I'll be more clearheaded by this weekend. I'd better be because I'm traveling again in less than a week.

ANXIETY DREAMS:

Speaking of sleeping, my anxiety seems to manifest itself in my dreams these days. I'm always fighting some kind of a battle, sometimes as a swords(wo)man, and sometimes as a superhero. In a way, it's great because it always plays out in this grand, cinematic background, and I'm awesome. But of course, I'm also always trying to protect either my baby or my pregnant belly, which is not so fun. I think part of the anxiety comes from the fact that I feel like I've let go of my independence for the time being. Because I've been so sick on and off throughout this pregnancy, my husband has taken over a lot of what I do, which is necessary and great. But what happens when circumstances change, and he no longer does everything for me? Gasp. I have to keep reminding myself that certain symptoms will go away once the baby is out, and I will be back to being myself again. It's just hard to imagine because I've been in this constant state of something different for half a year now.  

PHOTO AT 27 WEEKS: 
I stopped being surprised at the size of my belly. I kind of love how big it's getting. My sister says I'm still 'tiny.' I'm sure I'm not actually 'tiny,' and I also know I'm going to grow a lot more in the next few months. And the bigger I get, I realize my belly looks different, depending on the time of day, as you can see in the photo. This morning, she was sitting really low. It's fun to think about where she is and what she's doing. Sometimes, I imagine she's taking a swim; I feel her little hands and feet poking as she tries to maneuver in the little space she has. And when I rub my Earth Mama Oil over my belly after showers, I feel a weird sense of pride. Despite feeling fat and clumsy at times, I am starting to love my pregnant body.